“Hazards of the Airport Ramp: A Guide for Workers”

If you’ve ever thought about joining the ranks of the brave individuals who work on the ramp at a major international airport, be warned: it’s not for the faint of heart! Sure, there are the obvious dangers like whirling propellers and jet engines, but there are also plenty of sneaky hazards that only the most seasoned ramp attendants know about. For example, have you ever considered the risks of working around equipment driven by lead, like cleaners and cleaners carts? Or what about the perils of being in the bucket of a spray truck driven by a specific lead, whose driving skills may be questionable at best?

But it’s not just the physical dangers that you have to worry about on the ramp. There’s also the psychological trauma of being the bridgeman, waiting for the last few passengers to board a plane while your crew swears like drunken sailors just below. And let’s not even get started on the horrors of thinking about working for Air India or Guyana, whose reputations precede them. Oh, and don’t forget about the countdown to retirement, which can seem like an eternity when you’re working on the ramp.

And let’s not forget about some of the more obscure dangers lurking on the airport ramp. Who knew that working in the O Zone could lead to premature senility? Or that being stampeded by summer refugees could be a genuine hazard? And let’s not forget about the risk of being pulled over by the airport police, whose excitement at having something to do could lead to accidental shootings.

So, if you’re still considering a career on the airport ramp, we recommend proceeding with caution. It’s a veritable snake pit out there, and you don’t want to end up as just another statistic. Stay safe, and try not to get stampeded by summer refugees or shot by overzealous airport police. Good luck!

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