The pilot fell ill and passed out, causing panic among the passengers. Just when it seemed like all hope was lost, a passenger volunteered to take over the cockpit.
“I’ve only ever flown a plane on a video game simulator, but I’ll give it a try,” the passenger said.
Scottish air traffic controller: “Och, ye’ll be needin’ tae land the plane yerself noo. The pilot’s passed oot, so it’s all up tae ye. D’ye ken what tae do, laddie?”
American: “Uh, sorry sir. I’ve only ever flown a plane on a video game simulator. I’m having a bit of trouble understanding you with your heavy accent. Could you please speak a bit slower and clearer?”
Scottish air traffic controller: “Och, alright laddie. I’ll dae ma best tae slow doon. Noo, ye’ll be needin’ tae pull back the lever marked ‘descend’ tae start yer descent towards the runway. Ye ken where the control panel is, right?”
American: “Yes, I think I found it.”
Scottish air traffic controller: “Great! Noo, once ye’ve started yer descent, ye’ll need tae lower the flaps on the wings tae slow doon. Ye’ll find the lever marked ‘flaps’ on the left side o’ the panel. Just move it doon tae the ‘full’ position.”
American: “Okay, I think I’ve got it. Flaps are down.”
Scottish air traffic controller: “Brilliant! Noo, ye’ll want tae line the plane up with the center o’ the runway. Just look oot the windae and steer the plane towards the runway using the wheel in front o’ ye. Ye got that, laddie?”
American: “Uh, I think so. I’m turning the wheel now.”
Scottish air traffic controller: “Fantastic! Noo, when ye get closer tae the grund, ye’ll need tae lower the landin’ gear. There’s a lever on the right side o’ the panel marked ‘landin’ gear.’ Just pull it doon tae lower the gear.”
American: “Okay, I’ve pulled the lever. Now what?”
Scottish air traffic controller: “Just keep the plane lined up with the center o’ the runway and try tae keep a steady descent. When ye feel the wheels touch the grund, use the steerin’ wheel tae keep the plane straight and gently apply the brakes tae come tae a stop. Ye ken what tae dae noo, laddie?”
American: “Uh, I’m not sure. Could you repeat that again, slowly and clearly?”
Scottish air traffic controller: “Och, for the love o’ Pete. Alright laddie, just keep the plane lined up with the center o’ the runway, got it? And try tae keep a steady descent, aye? When ye feel the wheels touch the grund, use the steerin’ wheel tae keep the plane straight and gently apply the brakes tae come tae a stop. Ye ken what tae dae noo?”
American: “Oh! Okay, I think I understand now. I’ll give it a try.”
Scottish air traffic controller: “That’s the spirit, laddie! Just keep calm and follow ma instructions. Ye can dae this. Good luck!”
As the plane approached the runway, the American managed to successfully land the plane with the guidance of the Scottish air traffic controller. Just as they were about to come to a stop, the plane suddenly crossed over into Welsh airspace.
Welsh air traffic controller: “Bore da, sut mae! Rydych chi’n atgyfnerthu ar y glaswellt yma. Sut mae’ch gweithredu?”
American: OH GOD!! WHY ME!!!!
